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This Isn’t Just Policy—It’s Personal
We talk a lot about systems.
Economic systems.
Development systems.
Infrastructure systems.
But what we don’t talk about enough is this:
Who those systems actually work for.
Because for some of us, this isn’t theoretical.
It’s personal.
A System Built for a Life Not Everyone Lives
Our economy is structured around an assumption:
Two-parent households.
Dual incomes.
Shared responsibilities.
And retirement that prevents the need to work in old age.
But that hasn’t been my reality.
I’ve been a single mother my entire life.
I’ve raised one child into adulthood.
I’m raising others right now—doing everything I can to send them into the world prepared, grounded, and capable.
And I’m proud of that.
But here’s the truth:
I did not do it alone.
The People Who Made It Possible
My grandparents.
My parents.
They didn’t replace my responsibility.
They supported it.
They stepped in when things were hard.
They helped create stability so I could keep building.
They filled gaps that no system ever fully accounted for.
And because of that support—
My situation turned out differently than it could have.
That’s not about blame.
That’s about understanding how much unseen support it actually takes to make it.
The Quiet Reality No One Talks About
Here’s where it gets hard.
Because while I’ve built a life…
while I’m raising children and showing up every day to do better—
I also know there is always more I can do.
I take that seriously.
I believe in working hard.
I believe in improving my situation.
I believe in taking responsibility for the life I’m building.
But I can hold that truth and this one at the same time:
Even when you’re doing everything you can, there are still gaps the system doesn’t fill.
And those gaps are where families either fall apart—
or are held together by the people around them.
Homelessness Isn’t a “Them” Problem
We like to think of homelessness as something distant.
Something that happens when people don’t try.
But that’s not the full picture.
Because the truth is:
You can be working.
You can be trying.
You can be doing everything “right.”
And still be one situation away from losing stability.
I know that because I’ve lived close enough to that line to understand it.
Without the support of my family—
my children and I could have been in that position.
According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development:
Over 650,000 people experienced homelessness in the United States on a single night in 2023
Families with children represent a significant portion of those affected
Rising housing costs and economic instability continue to drive the increase
This isn’t rare.
It’s closer than most people think.
The Growing Crisis We Don’t Talk About: Elderly Homelessness
Now layer in something even more concerning.
Older adults are one of the fastest-growing groups experiencing homelessness.
Research from the National Alliance to End Homelessness and the Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University shows:
Adults aged 50+ are making up an increasing share of the homeless population
Many are experiencing homelessness for the first time in their lives
By 2030, older adults could make up nearly one-third of the homeless population
These are people who:
Worked for decades
Paid into the system
Raised families
Built the communities we live in
And still—
they are at risk of losing stability later in life.
The Gap No One Talks About: When Fixed Income Meets Rising Costs
There’s another piece of this that we can’t ignore.
Many older adults are doing exactly what they were told to do.
They worked.
They paid into the system.
They planned for retirement.
And now they’re living on Social Security.
But here’s the reality:
According to the Social Security Administration:
Social Security replaces only about 40% of pre-retirement income on average
Nearly half of older households rely on it for the majority of their income
And for many, it is their primary source of income.
Now layer that against:
Rising housing costs
Increasing healthcare expenses
Inflation that outpaces fixed income adjustments
And the result is this:
People who did everything “right” are still struggling to stay stable.
When I see an elderly person working in fast food, at Walmart, or serving my family dinner, I don’t assume they made bad choices.
I assume they’re doing what they’ve always done—showing up and working—and navigating a system that is failing them.
The Conversation We Avoid: “Not In My Backyard”
There’s another reality we need to talk about—especially in communities like St. Charles County, Missouri.
Not always in official policies.
Not always written down.
But it shows up in conversations.
“Not here.”
“Not in this neighborhood.”
“Not in my backyard.”
This mindset—often referred to as NIMBY—has been widely documented as a barrier to building:
Affordable housing
Homeless shelters
Supportive services
Community opposition often delays or prevents these developments—even when the need is clear.
But when communities resist solutions—
The problem doesn’t disappear.
It moves.
Or it grows.
Because homelessness doesn’t come from one bad decision.
It comes from:
rising housing costs
gaps in support systems
limited access to resources
And when we block solutions locally, we’re not protecting our communities.
We’re limiting the ability to stabilize them.
What Happens When the Safety Net Is Family
Families like mine often become the safety net.
But that doesn’t remove responsibility.
It reinforces it.
Because when someone steps in to help you—
You don’t take that lightly.
You work harder.
You push further.
You try to build something that honors what they gave you.
But we also have to be honest:
Not everyone has that support.
And a system shouldn’t rely on family structure or luck to determine who stays stable—and who doesn’t.
What This Has to Do with Economic Development
This is why conversations about growth—especially large-scale development like data centers—matter.
Because when decisions are made without considering how people actually live, we miss the full picture:
Who can afford to stay in these communities
Who benefits from development—and who gets priced out
How rising costs impact families already balancing on the edge
If development increases cost of living without strengthening real support systems—
It doesn’t build communities.
It displaces them.
Because the truth is—
You cannot build systems based on an ideal version of society if you’re unwilling to address the real problems people are living through every day.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
There’s one more piece to this that we do have control over.
Not the system.
Not every outcome.
But how we see people.
Because when you see someone working a second job—
at a fast food restaurant, at Walmart, serving your table—
It’s easy to make assumptions.
But we don’t actually know their story.
They could be:
Taking care of their grandchildren
Supporting their children
Trying to stay ahead of rising costs
Saving for something meaningful
Or quietly building something bigger behind the scenes
There is no shame in working hard.
It doesn’t matter where you’re working hard.
What matters is that you are.
So instead of judging—
Shift the mindset.
Choose respect over assumption.
Choose understanding over criticism.
Choose to see effort where others might overlook it.
Because the truth is:
Most people are doing the best they can with what they have.
And when we start seeing that—
We don’t just change how we view others.
We change the kind of communities we build.
Real World Solution: Build for Real Life, Not Ideal Life
If we want stronger communities, we need to start with reality.
1. Recognize single-parent households as part of the economic foundation
Not an exception.
2. Support multi-generational families and care-giving roles
Because they are already holding communities together.
3. Prioritize housing stability across all stages of life
Especially for aging populations.
4. Build systems that don’t rely on families to absorb systemic gaps
Because not everyone has that option.
5. Include lived experience in decision-making
Not just data and projections.
6. Don’t just advocate—build solutions
Advocacy matters.
But so does action.
There is real opportunity right now for individuals to create businesses that directly address the gaps we see every day in our communities.
That could look like:
Transitional housing programs
Resource centers that help people navigate services
Support services for aging populations
Childcare and family support systems
Workforce re-entry programs
Because the truth is:
Some of the most impactful solutions won’t come from large systems.
They’ll come from people who see the problem—and decide to build something better.
Call to Action
If you’ve ever had someone step in for you—
help you stay afloat—
help you keep going—
Then you already understand this:
We are not as independent as the system pretends we are.
So before we move forward with decisions that reshape our communities, ask:
Are we strengthening the systems people rely on?
Or quietly removing the ones they already have?
This Is Why I Speak Up
I want to build a life my family can be proud of.
Not just for my children—
but for the people who helped raise me.
And I’m going to keep doing my part.
Working.
Building.
Improving.
Showing up.
Because that responsibility is mine.
But I’m also going to speak up—
Because personal responsibility and system accountability are not opposites.
They work together.
And if we ignore either one—
we don’t fix the problem.
In Solidarity,
Lyndsay LaBrier
Merchant Ship Collective
References
Culhane, D., Treglia, D., Byrne, T., Metraux, S., & Kuhn, R. (2019). The emerging crisis of aged homelessness. University of Pennsylvania.
U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development. (2023). The 2023 Annual Homeless Assessment Report (AHAR) to Congress.
National Alliance to End Homelessness. (2024). Homelessness among older adults.
Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University. (2023). The State of the Nation’s Housing.
Social Security Administration. (2023). Retirement benefits and income statistics.